COVID-19 Report

Where I will be for the duration.

And then everything changed as the wave of virus swept over the land.

But you have to get up everyday. So I have been doing that and I have even been trying to work but I have also been watching my body respond to the stress of the unknowingness of this event. I have been cleaning, organizing, moving my things around. Thinking about getting things taken care of in the event I do become ill. The US/Canada border is closed so there goes my love life. The closure is presenting an interesting forced retreat on both my husband and me. I'm philosophical. We have been here before. Once for 6 months he was away, and we survived that. We're adults after all not hysterical children. The truth is I only go out about twice a week under normal conditions. When gas was up around 4 bucks a gallon I limited the 40 mile roundtrip to town to about once a week. I don't feel like I am missing much, hermitess that I am. The worst part is all the nervous energy and where to put it. The library is closed. My brain is splintered. I try to maintain a normal routine but I am noticing how little urgency I feel to work. I go back and forth from feeling inspired to just feeling as lazy as all get out. What has honestly changed for us? We are slightly more trapped than normal and now with fewer retail opportunities. I wish I had more food on hand but I also like the potential for pandemic weight loss. Occasionally the thought of escape comes to mind as if I had that ability and the reality hits that this thing is everywhere, there is no escape. Makes me think of a few dreams I've had where I am somewhere distant and unfamiliar and I can feel the pull to return to what is familiar even though the effort to get to this new location was difficult and time consuming. I am here. I am waiting for this thing to pass and I am trying to keep my mind in a happy free space where I can think about and do the things I want to. I'm lucky, so very lucky to have my home to shelter in place in. It's spring and I can't help but be outside to catch the show. Yesterday we had thunder, today there are violets. The news is complex and will likely get worse. In this moment I feel fine.

Here's something I worked on while we were locked down.

Portrait of the Artist Series, 2011/2012

2011

I  forget to be generous with myself about what I get done. I am just a messy bossy human hoping for a good kick at the can, I have a lot on my to-do list. Doing some reflecting this January, thought I'd revisit these paintings and prints after a trip to the Vancouver Art Gallery last week. I made the first one after watching The Royal Tennenbaums but then it became a little habit and selfies were huge suddenly as Facebook rose in popularity. I guess I was already feeling the ennui of social media. These represent my first step toward developing an art practice.

Me now

 

My dad somehow saw this picture of me on LinkedIn and sent me the following note via email:

Well its a good photo of a serious professional like you see on Linkedin.

Bears little resemblance to the Rowan we raised through all those years.

Just your professional visage facing the market place.

Evolution I guess.

Love Dad. 

 I think this is who he remembers. I'm on the right. : )

Sticks and Stones

How do you fill your days?
You may well ask.
What are your long term goals?
To become a better artist.

 Stick Pile #1

For the last 3 or so years I have been trying to reconcile my identity as a graphic designer with my identity as an artist. The process has been interesting and the outcome, a complete surprise.

  Stick Pile #3

This journey began with my first life drawing class in over 20 years in 2013. Drawing and painting got me back into thinking about art making. I read somewhere that you should never think about the why of art making when you are making it. They are two different activities and should not get mixed up together. That used to catch-me-up and stop me dead.

 Looking south on the east perimeter. Piles are 20ft apart.

Now I see things in simpler terms. After 20yrs, my time on this property is likely limited and so I want to  immerse myself in it while I can. It made sense that my statement would involve this place.

 The first 3 piles run south from the north east corner of my property.

People are starved for nature. It's being destroyed but it's everywhere too. Growing up between the cracks in sidewalks, sprouting in gutters. Art is there too, waiting to be called upon.

I caught a snippit of a headline that an eco conscious art curator I know commented on, and it made me re-visit the stick piles I began making when I first moved here.  And there it was, an idea I had had long ago resurfacing and the right moment. I have been waiting and watching, biding my time.

 Forest selfie with cedar debris.

My plan for the next 2 years, (I picked 2 because that marks a major milestone in my life as a parent) is to create a series of these stick piles around the perimeter of my 5 acre property. I am not going to think about why. I am going to pile things up and see where it goes.

Stay tuned.

Summation

This is what I am trying to achieve. The sensation of lying on my back staring up at endless openness while standing upright in the modern world. The sensation of sun on my face when skies are gray and complicated. The sensation of boundless joy while performing the mundane tasks of simply being alive. So far so good.

Print Project Complete

The last item on my list of "33 Ways to Stay Creative" is finish something  and yesterday that is what I did. Having scanned the elements of this piece into my computer I was able to layer them together and see what was working and what wasn't. The background was too strong and the portrait was too dark. It's all pretty subtle but there has to be balance. The theme of the piece is "The Drive Home". At first all I could think about was the road I walk up and down everyday for exercise and meditation but then I went a bit deeper.

I am going home and I don't mean physically at least not right now.  I am slowly returning to the country of my birth, reclaiming my Canadian-ness, examining who I am as an ex-patriot. I have been in America for 30 years now and so I am thinking a lot about what the next phase of my life will look like. The circles represent many things, the north, my career as a designer, a feminine form, individual closed units, perhaps of time. I used to think of my life in 5 year segments. Major changes seemed to take about 5 years to hatch and see to fruition. 5 years from now my daughter will be out of school and one of my key daily roles will become redundant.

Beneath the circles is an image of a neon sign. It's a picture I took many years ago when I lived in Los Angeles, it's at the bottom of the page signifying that region of the southern US where my journey started. Layered over that are the words "Not there yet". The answer to that age-old question, "are we there yet". I ran it up my face pointing north to my destination and to my brain. I am not there yet. The larger message of the piece — a self portrait — is about that constant searching and process of evolution I am involved in.

I am looking forward to sending these 12 prints off and seeing what I get in return, I liked this idea of sending these little signals out into world that say I am here like you working away, living my life. I am alive.

Print Project Day Two

Today I put the 3 elements together. The color is not working yet and I am not sure about the intensity of the dots. I will make a few adjustments. What a miracle, to have time to make decisions. I will reprint the set based on my findings from this round.

Print Project Day One

 

I signed up for Print Exchange 2013. 500 printers will all create an edition of 12 prints and then we will swap thanks to the good people at Art House in Brooklyn. It cost $50 bucks to sign up and the print must be 5 x 7. Pretty small in my world. In keeping with my self portrait series I decided to make a print similar in feel to my "Practice Healthy Skepticism" print. I am using backgrounds I had on hand and I cut this small lino. I pulled a few test prints yesterday to figure out my color scheme. The theme of this print is "The Road Home". I am in my 30th year in the US and my thoughts are turning toward the next phase of my life and where that phase will take place. I feel like maybe I have been working my way home all these years. The images are simple, a grid of circles and a sign from my time in Los Angeles, a Dogwood, the official flower of the province of British Columbia where I was born and raised. I will also include some type, how could I not. Stay tuned.

Sketchbook Project Completed

 

The book is a journal of my daily walk. 

And what it feels like to be 49.

  

Thinking about the past.

Keeping an eye on nature.

 

Trying to stay grounded. 

What I think about when I walk.

And the things I see.  

 

And the way I have structured my life in an attempt to be creative. 

 

Front and back ready for packing. 

 

Ready for stamps!

Now that it is done, such as it is. I keep feeling like I want to look at it again and then I remember
it is packaged and going away. It's a strange sensation. Freeing perhaps. If you get a chance to
go and see it as it travels around the US, please let me know how it's behaving with the other
wee books.