Charm and Good Looks

We wake Eddy up early on Fridays. He goes out on a bus to an adult daycare place where he mixes with other old codgers, he gets a bath while he is there too. Often when we wake him up he is a bit confused and often thinks he is dreaming. Today he said he was just lying there and while he was willing to accept where he was he had no recollection of what he had done to get here. I told him he had done it based on charm and good looks. He said he was willing to accept that too.

This Week In Design

Meant to post this poster last week but I was preoccupied with designing the matching newspaper insert and various other things. (Basically I am really grateful to have lots of work at the moment.) This piece was inspired by the Hatch Show Print exhibit and Sustainable Connections' Michelle Grandy. I saw the show a little bit ago in Seattle, all that "Live in Person" stuff really got to me. I had the big lino cut sun in my arsenal of images and added to it a bit. For some reason the original cut did not have a perfect circle at the center, what was I thinking. I was happy to get out my ancient compass, draw the circle and re-cut the little dahling. I like cutting lino blocks, it enables me to be super obsessive which I kind of dig. I go at it so hard sometimes it makes my hands ache. The concept for the poster was Michelle's idea, the Ring the Bell game one might find on a Fair midway. I have been a long time fan of anything remotely circus inspired. I always love Michelle's ideas, she has good eye and we work well together. I devised the copy to fit the concept. Devised the copy, I hesitate to say wrote. I often write a little headline for these pieces based on the direction I get, it all comes together seemingly out of the ether. I proofed the elements on the press and then scanned them. Am pretty pleased with the results.

Ready for Summer

Summer officially kicks off for us on Saturday. In honor of the fine weather we have been having I have decorated the covered patio. This sheltered area becomes an extension to our otherwise minimal house. We cook, eat, read, work and play outside when the weather is fine. Nothing says summer to me more than a permanent party atmosphere so I feel strongly it is good to keep the fridge stocked with drinks and ice cubes and the patio decorated in a festive manner. This year I am using the decorations leftover from our wedding 5 years ago. Time flies when you're having fun but I hope the summer moves slowly. Anyone for a Mojito?

Big Baby

Yesterday Pearl had her 5th grade Moving On Ceremony. It was really touching. We are lucky to have been with such a nice group of kids. Today was my last school drop-off of the year and the last one at this school. Pearl wrote thank-you notes to all her teachers and some of the school staff and we went in a bit early and handed them out. I found myself getting emotional as she handed her letter off to her 2nd grade teacher, I had felt relieved when her kindergarten teacher was not in her classroom. That one we left on the desk. We made our way down the hall to the library and then onto her 4th grade classrooms. When we got into her classroom after giving a letter to her art teacher who we encountered in the hallway (a woman who has done an exceptional job and has been let go due to budget cuts), I found I could barely watch as Pearl's 5th grade teacher read the letter and gave her a little hug. I was tearing up, I had been since the second grade class. I really wanted to hug that woman but I did not want to get all emotional and messy so I fled. I fled past the receptionists who have met us every morning with warm enthusiastic smiles and drove home. I cried all the way. I am going to miss them and this part of Pearl's childhood.

Buzzed

It was a weird Monday today, everyone said so. I had a hard time focusing but found a little inspiration in nature. Walking the 150 feet between the house and my office I was aware of a vast humming. Deep within my kiwi vines were a zillion bees hard at work pollinating. I was reminded to stick to the task in front of me, and I did and I got quite a bit done.

Small Moments

Pearl is about to finish elementary school. Imagine many platitudes here about how fast it has gone, how startling it is to wake up and realize this tiny baby I brought home is now about to enter middle school. 6 years has seemingly dissolved into the past and here we are about to pass a major educational milestone.

When we were first entering the process of adopting I let go of any expectations that I had about how things would be, honestly it was the path of least resistance. I didn't want to deal with any dissapointments so I just opened up and let things happen. When Becky chose us to parent Pearl it was her doing not mine. I held out my arms and received this little bundle, took her home and got down to taking care of her. Without the encumbrance of genetic attachment I was free to watch Pearl emerge from babyhood into toddlerdom and onto childhood. Because she was not biologically mine I never looked at her and thought oh look she likes that because I liked that. She was herself and my job was to watch and see who she was and help her do a good job at being that person. She is an amazing person all on her own.

As she is entering middle school the kids have to choose an elective, Art, Band or Choir. Pearl has been in the 5th grade band and was taking piano lessons. She showed natural ability with both so when it came time to choose an elective and she chose Art I was a bit stunned. I thought perhaps she was doing it to placate her dad or me, not sure there. I suddenly felt strongly that I had to intervene. God no I thought not art, don't choose art. Art is hell. I know. When I look at my graduating class from design school, the practical approach to art, very few of my classmates even work in their field. Pearl's dad who is a talented artist by most accounts and has acheived some aclaim over the years struggles to this day with his career. Very few people have the chutspa to acheive anything in the world of art. Pearl dabbles with art but she shines where music is concerned. I explained all this to her dad, saying that we should keep her in band and teach her about art on the side, we have about a dozen combined years of art education under our belts and decades of experience between us, I think we could muster up a few lessons, perhaps get her painting some nice watercolor still lives. I have no musical ability, Pearl's dad has some but we have no formal training. Pearl is a natural performer, she can read music already, sings non-stop, and has the most beautiful long fingers with which to play whichever instrument she chooses. We filled out the form, Band as the first choice, Art second.

Then came the Middle School band concert awards night. Pearl has been playing with about 10 other kids in the 5th grade band. They have performed a few times and while they have their moments it often sounds like cats being stepped on. Well you can imagine my pleasure when I heard what an 8th grade band sounds like. The 7th graders performed Lonely Bull and even the 6th graders got jiggy with their pieces, coming on stage in dark glasses playing something that sounded like a kookoo clock gone wild. It was wonderful. In between the groups, members of the High School Band made impassioned pleas to the middle schoolers to stay in band as the High School needs them, I am sure many of them will. When it was the 5th graders turn they did well and at the end the whole group, about 80 kids in total were on stage playing 'Cardiff Castle". Pearl was up front and I could see her spring to attention as they played the piece, it was powerfull, all those musicians playing together and at the end and it screeched to a finish, Pearl looked at me and said that was so cool! She remarked that she had never played it so fast but that she had hit all the notes, the power of the group had pushed her along it seemed.

Today we went to replace her rental flute with a newer one and I asked her again how the performance experience had been. She raised her arms up and said she could feel the music inside her as they all played, coming up through her. I felt delighted for her. She is now looking forward to fall and to band and having that feeling again. When we got home she actually spontaneously practiced her flute for awhile.

I wish I had been more of a group participater as a youth and that my parents had maybe helped guide me a bit more, I might have ended up a chemist, who knows. I often feel very much at odds with the whole group thing, art is perfect for me, I don't fear being alone. Pearl on the other hand is enormously social and as a single child (for almost 11 years) she will benefit from working in a group. Plus when you are in a band you automatically belong, how great is that? I am really proud of her and so glad I get to be her mom. I am looking forward to seeing what the future holds for her.

Walking It Out

When I emerged from my depression earlier this spring I suddenly became interested in doing things again, making lists and setting goals. So far I have followed through on many things, I have made a skirt, a painting, just last night I cut out a linen dress I am going to make, hopefully later this week.

My biggest goal for the summer is to walk the 20 miles from my home in Everson to Bellingham. I have been reading this book called "The Lost Art of Walking" since the winter and it has captured my imagination. Throughout history people have walked for all kinds of reasons, from survival to spiritual discovery and often the two are closely related. People walked for sport and reward, for art and for salvation. I walk primarily to keep my body in shape, as a cure for the enormous amount of sitting I do in front of the computer. In addition to the positive effect the walking has on my keeping my ass from getting totally out of control it has an amazing effect on my soul. For me walking is a form of meditation a way to clear my head, release a few endorphins, connect with nature, watch the changing of the seasons on my stretch of road. In many ways the simple act of walking keeps me anchored to the earth, an active reminder that I am here, grounded.

Sometime around the summer solstice I will rise early and begin the trek to Bellingham. I am not sure of the route I will take, I am interested in the old railroad grade as it appears to be the most direct route to town but I am not sure how clear the right of way is. In the next few weeks I will be increasing my daily walks, building up the length and distance of my daily excursions. I walked about 8 miles a few weeks back and it took around 2 hours, hopefully I can cover the 20 mile distance in about 5-6 hours. My goal is not speed, just distance.

I heard a story once that our homo sapien bodies are designed to walk long distances, 20 miles or so per day. We were once hunter-gatherers covering great distances to find food to sustain ourselves. Obviously these days the distances we have to travel for survival have become truncated and softened. The distance from my couch to my fridge for example is not a rigorous journey and with not much effort I can get in the car and drive to the store for more sustenance if need be. It was this germ of information that first inspired me to take this journey and Jeffrey Nicholson's book sort of sealed the deal.

Some people walk to cure cancer, some have walked because god condemned them to travel the earth for all eternity. I am walking because I can and in a way I am celebrating the fact that I want to, I have no expectation of the journey I am just glad to be on it.

Home

Araya, Becky and Pearl

Just back from our trip to Eugene to visit Pearl's new baby birth-sister. It was good to see Becky in her now role as active momma. She is a bit nervous but totally doting and attentive to her little bundle. The baby is sweet and content to sleep under many watchful eyes. On Sunday after a busy family dinner Mark sat for about an hour just stroking the little angel and she seemed to enjoy the constant attention, cooing in her sleep and making little faces. It was a quick trip, a whirlwind really and we were back on the road in 24 hrs heading north again, hurtling home. Somewhere south of Seattle Pearl had a little meltdown as she often does after these visits. How strange it must be to visit this perfectly good home and family who clearly cherishes you only to leave them over and over again. I can't fix how she feels I just have to let her know that the sadness she feels in the transition between homes is natural and nothing to be ashamed of. I try not to over talk the experience, I don't want to minimize or maximize her experience. I do want to know the specifics of it, but for that I will have to wait until she is a bit older and has more perspective on her reality. When we got back home Pearl seemed more herself and while we waited for Mark to set up the TV to watch the video of the experience we had just had Pearl played in her room. I went in at one point and she was playing with her Polly Pockets dolls, she said Jasmine, (a mini Bratz doll) is trying to move in with the Polly Pockets and they are not being very nice to her. I kept moving and when it was time to watch the video she came out and said that everyone was all moved in and they were all getting along just fine. We snuggled on the couch to watch the video, me on her right, Mark on her left and when it was time for bed she said how good it felt to be back home in her own bed.