Self Portrait Tuesday

Here's my painting for today. It's a bit wonky as I painted it from a photo taken with my phone. Generally I print these photos out but last night I just used my phone. It was challenging, the photo had almost no color and I am still struggling with the paint in tubes. I also need some new brushes. I still have those feelings as I drop off to sleep that I have forgotten to reset some kind of alarm that will prevent me from dying, and I wake feeling disoriented my lap covered in books, pen in hand. I am trying to break my bedtime TV habit choosing instead to make notes about the following day, further efforts to keep myself on task. It seems to be helping my generalized anxiety. This is a busy week culminating in a busy weekend, so off I go.

I am reminded of my mother who never slept in but at the end of her life in her methadone haze she would sleep late. I would look in on her and on one particularly sunny February morning she admitted to secretly enjoying the laziness of sleeping in. Today I admit to really enjoying being stripped bare by these paintings, making them and posting them and not worrying about what anyone thinks about them, it's delicious.