Friday, February 6, 2009


Winter Hazel, forced in the house

I have a bit more time on my hands than is normal for me. I'm worried about it but I am also enjoying it. The slower pace is better for me. I am enjoying just having time to take care of the details of my life. This week I spent 2 hours breaking down boxes for the recycling. It was 54° outside and it was really pleasant to feel a bit of spring in the air. I pulled my garbage can up to the road behind the rider-mower because Mark asked me to run the engine periodically. I went up and down my driveway on foot several times and identified a few trees I want to take down.

It reminded me of the time after 911, the economy was crap then too. I was recently divorced and exhausted, I had no work and barely any interest in doing anything anyway. I spent weeks clearing out blackberries and tree branches, burning it all as I went. And now as then, in between I come into the office and think about work and move things along with various projects. Things are going to get much worse I fear but in the meantime I just have to keep going and enjoy my life, which I do, immensely. I learned during that time the importance of practicing patience, deep seemingly endless patience. It served me well and things got better over time.

Today I spent an hour or so out of doors doing a little clearing in the woods outside my bedroom window. I made a big pile of sopping branches that were left over from the cedars Neil knocked down when we built the carport. I uncovered some nice big ferns which I will be able to see from my room. The earth, the humus, is so rich and brown, it's a bit of clay, a bit of loam, lots of needles and bits of prehistoric ferns, particles and particles, black and whole. I dreamed once that I was eating this stuff, I was either vitamin deficient or hallucinating. It does look so full of life and nutrients, I wanted to at least put my hands into it.

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