It's so weird, I am actually looking forward to the holidays. I feel myself easing into it, counting down the days. My mammoth letterpress job will get shipped off tomorrow. Through the whole process I have been finding time to knit my crazy micro sweaters and also start a new hat for Mark. I have a few presents identified for my little family and some ideas for other small offerings I want to make and give away.
This is the person I used to be, a thoughtful gift giver, a Christmas person. It feels good to be revisiting that long lost part of my self. I'm looking forward to doing a little baking for the family and decorating the house with hand-cut snowflakes. The lights are up already, I bought new LED ones, very fancy and energy efficient. I love that.
Mostly what I am noticing is that the heaviness I have felt for so long seems daily to be lifting and just when I think I'm feeling normal I feel a bit better. The more I do, the more I want to do, and in between I am able to feel at ease with what is happening around me.
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