Happiness

Helmet Head Family

Just a few quick words. I have been writing outside the blog again and since I am generally in a mood of decreased anxiety these days I don't have such an urgent need to purge every little feeling I experience. This is a good thing. Calm is good for me, a much healthier state of being.

My little family has been skiing of late and I just wanted to say here how happy it makes me. I grew up skiing on Hudson Bay Mountain in Smithers B.C.. My family back then was bigger, there were 6 of us and in the winter we skied, religiously. While other families worshiped together we fueled up on pancakes and then piled into our VW van. My dad had his own version of preparation anxiety and would occasionally yell and slam the basement door expressing his frustration with his troop of ill prepared kids. Skis! Boots! Poles! he would yell while pulling out of the driveway. Once on the mountain though, all that anxiety was replaced with gratitude for the place and the activity of wooshing down hills under clear blue skies filled with sparkling ice crystals. These are the happy family times that I am modeling my own family experience after.

Pearl's skiing is coming along. She is careful and moves methodically down the hill. Mark goes ahead of us sometimes for a blast of speed but we both take turns taking up the rear, skiing behind Pearl, protecting her from fast moving snowboarders. Even though I can ski aggressively I am enjoying the slow pace, savoring the turns, keeping my shoulders pointed down the hill, marking each turn with yogic precision, shifting my weight from one leg to the other, gripping my toes in the imaginary sand. My lungs filled with clear mountain air add to my euphoria.

Riding up on chair 8, in plain sight of Mt Shuksan, I am overwhelmed with love for Pearl and Mark and with happiness that the three of us can have this experience together. I say over and over how happy I am. I can't help myself. They roll their eyes behind their goggles but I know they feel it too.