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Thursday, October 9, 2008

Risky Business

Eddy is home and getting stronger. It is not happening by accident, Mark is really focused on Eddy's ability to get up with assistance and walk the 25 or so steps to the bathroom. At the moment he can only walk from the bathroom door to the toilet. We wheel him from his room to the bathroom door. There is risk involved in getting him up, he could fall. His skin is phyllo dough thin and his nerves are fragile, the bathroom is made of hard objects with sharp corners. Occasionally you have to take evasive action to get him to his destination. He yips and oohs, it doesn't feel good. His legs can give out, he can sort of lose interest in what is happening and can topple over. He has fallen, but not often, he has never been hurt. When he finally arrives back in his wheelchair he always thanks us for safe delivery, no matter how rough the trip.

The greater risk lies in not getting him up, letting him lose all connection to his body, forgetting to walk. All those brain pathways getting covered over like old dirt roads. There was tremendous perceived risk in assisting him through his day but we brought him home anyway and slowly he is returning to his original semi-marginal state as we hoped he would. Our commitment is renewed to keep at him, to walk and move around despite his strenuous complaints and missed synapse. Trying to keep him moving until the end, that is the goal. None of this is easy, it's heavy and it feels awkward, sometimes it's scary but generally it feels like the right thing to do.

Risk is unavoidable, the key is to know which risks you're willing to take.

2 comments:

syd said...

Wow.

NinjaMama said...

Nice work to you and your big honey for all the hard work. Eddy is so lucky to have the commitment and love. Intense.

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