Thursday, April 7, 2011
Jealousy
Lately I seem to be questioning everything, actually I guess I have always questioned everything except maybe relationship choices, that's another story. I question the whole blogging thing, why do we do it? What the hell is the point? And Facebook? Why? (Another day there too.) Who really gives a shit? I came across this blog during my constant quest for attention, recognition and understanding about why people read other peoples blogs. Is it to get info about great products to help streamline your important experience as a stay-at-home frustrated mom or to get more recipes that you will never cook because all you eat is salad and cereal? I am looking for inspiration, I am looking for a reason to stay here, to stay in the game. I met a friend in the bank the other day, he has lung cancer. We talked a little bit about that and he asked me if I had ever had a psychotic break and I laughed and said well no in fact, but I do spend every minute of every day trying to avoid having one. I have merely dipped my toes into panic attacks and deep depression but I am trying to steer clear of a full psychotic break at all costs. So I blog, and I look for other blogs out there to help me along. So sorry if I don't get why some house wife in Alabama with a visually confusing blog about her 11 kids has 6 billion followers and I have 20 and about 6 who read every time I post. It doesn't matter, the activity of posting creates my safe haven and the little comments only serve to encourage me, and while I feel jealous of those goddamn popular mommy bloggers, this is who I am really paying attention to. Props to Cupcake for making her visible to me.
Labels:
art,
blogging,
depression,
transformation
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7 comments:
Oooo, another fantastic blog to add to my RSS reed. Thanks, R!
And please know that I read every word you write, the moment it appears in my feed. And your words always ring truest to me of all the blogs I frequent.
My thoughts about why some mediocre bloggers have a gazillion followers? Same reason hordes of people love McDonald's and Walmart (or why every town you drive by on any interstate in America looks exactly the same as the next) -- lowest common denominator. Not everyone has good taste; in fact, most people don't. There are fantastic blogs out there that deserve the huge readership, of course. But a lot more that don't.
It's all true. Just have to keep searching for those truffles and working at tuning my own voice while not allowing myself to be distracted by the mean girls of the blogisphere.
hey ranchnotes. who knows why we write these blogs. attention seekers. venters. neurotics reaching out...who cares. if you enjoy it, just keep doing it. i like the way you open up yourself on your blog. it's very powerful. making connections in this weird world is important!
Thanks LD. Congrats are your wildlife preserve.
It is SO TRUE how this freakish world of blogging is a mixture of hate and love and envy and SCREW YOU! I only know I enjoy a certain few and you are one of them. It's all a pie fight, as my grandfather used to say. For me, The Jealous Curator captures it so I'm glad you love her too.
I love your honesty about your feelings concerning the number of followers a blog has... and just what does that mean, anyway?! I have to admit that I have looked at some blogs with hundreds of followers and I've wondered as well. And then, I have also played the game of seeking out blogs, following them - oh, yeah, and commenting, too, but they haven't followed me. That harkens back to middle school and wondering why Susie-Q wouldn't be my friend. It took some growing up to realize I didn't care!
I enjoy writing my blog.... and hoping that some people get something from at least some of my posts. I hope you feel that way, too.
Ahhh. You're right. THAT'S why. And for Cupcake. I've been on a little sabbatical lately, just reading and reading and not writing. I think that makes me feel worse. Especially when the house wife in Alabama doesn't know the difference between they're and their and STILL gets 80bazillion comments and followers because she can decorate a birthday cake with thrift store finds. I kind of feel like there's some of us, nay, some of you, at the nerd table talking about niftier stuff. Just have to sift through the popular kids to find it. Glad you're out there. And Cupcake and Jealous...yay internet. PS. Now you have 21 followers. :-)
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