Friday Happiness

Here is something cheerful for friday, a cat in a sweater courtesy of the good people at The Yarn Monkey. If this doesn't cheer you up instantly you are probably dead, get off the computer. Mark is away so I am off to have a visit with Eddy, today I will read to him from the book I have been grueling through. I had a surprise root canal yesterday and although it was a bit horrifying to learn about the whole process the total lack of pain I am experiencing today is so good. A person like me who spends a lot of time in her head should not have to encounter any more pain than the pain I imagine I am in. Happy Friday, get your cat in a sweater. I am thinking of making one for one of the meat birds whose feathers are slow to come in. Cheers!

Concrete

On top of everything else I made a concrete pad over the weekend. It was Pearl's birthday so I waited until the sleepover guests went home and then I began. It was raining but I was undeterred in my lightweight raincoat, one of three raincoats I own and I pondered as the climate deteriorates, er changes we will need different clothes to function well in the gray moist world. I built the frame first, 4 feet by 6 and set it in place. I filled it with rocks and metal leftover from the two double box springs I tried to burn poor-white-trash-style on the burn pile. The cheap fabric melted away, the wood charred but the metal remained. I was pleased by how easily the metal springs came off the superstructure, no tools required beyond my gloved hands. The frame for the concrete was big and I underestimated the concrete it would require to fill it, so after mixing 4-60lb bags I stopped, took off my rain coat and started collecting rocks to fill the voids. I have a surplus of rocks here and so off I went and picked them up one after another until the bucket I was collecting them in weighed just enough to carry. I would dump each one and I found myself saying "just nine more loads" each time. I made about 2 dozen trips looking for mid size rocks, digging into the muddy earth with my hands and pulling them up, moving from spot to spot letting the rocks decide my path. On Monday I rested. On Tuesday I mixed up 11 more bags of concrete one by one and filled the spaces not taken up by the rocks from Sunday. At 4:30 it was done. Mark helped me screet the surface with a 2 x 4 and then he finished the edges because that is what he does and I am beyond grateful. I went and looked at the finished slab this morning and felt quite pleased that it is done and although the surface is flat and smooth I hold the memory of what lies beneath.

Amy Butler Shirt

I have been spending a lot of time in my bedroom lately. I am rich in places to be creative in my life. I am lucky to have an entire building dedicated to myself and I am also fortunate to have a large bedroom that I don't have to share with anyone. I have been sewing there and am trying to finish things in a short amount of time so that the season for which the garment I am making was intended does not pass without me being able to sport my hard work. I am interested in training myself to have better habits, to do things with more care and sewing falls into this category. I have always done it but I have not always done it well. I used to get so frustrated that I often ended up in tears. I also made a lot of clothes that were not exactly constructed well but they were good enough and I wore them. I am in a wholly different place in my development these days and I find I have amazing focus and am not afraid of ripping seams out to replace them with better ones. More precise ones. I am not trying to achieve any kind of perfection, rather I am attempting to really be in the process of making something and really do it until it meets with my satisfaction. I see precision as a viable goal. So the Amy Butler Liverpool Tunic is complete! I still need to put some buttons on it and then it will be ready to wear and I can start on the next thing. Each completed project signals permission to begin the next thing and so I go, making, making, until the end of time.

Together again

Here's a funny thing. It's Thursday which means it's only been 48hours since I last saw my husband, and in less than 24 more I will see him again and tonight I find I am overwhelmed with that good feeling of seeing him, of being with him. It's no big romantic freakshow when we're together it's more like you found your favorite sock (a really good high quality sock) and after reuniting the pair on your feet you go for a very long walk and maybe the day is fine and you see something new in a place you've looked a million times before. That's how I feel tonight, anticipating those together feelings that make everything seem new again and filled with possibility, like fresh pages in a new book or laying down on clean sheets you've slept in for 8 years.

Promise of Prosperity

I tend toward feeling that the universe will take care of me. It has thus far and I have no reason to think that it won't continue in this same manner. I am not passive in this though, I am not just lying around eating bon-bons and thinking happy positive thoughts. I am actively paying attention to what's happening around me.

It was windy when I sat down on New Years day to collect my thoughts and drink a little celebratory champagne. The sound I heard next was a combination of deep cracking, some scraping, maybe a woosh of wind but that's hard to say in retrospect. One sound I can verify with certainty was the sound metal roofing makes as it's being peeled off a roof in a high wind. I expected to see the garage destroyed when I went out but was met instead by something else altogether. A huge limb had broken off a big Maple tree adjacent to the carport falling across the driveway and clipping the the edge of the metal roofed carport and Mark's car and settling hard on the gravel drive.

And so this is how my year started. Now some might see this as big negative but not me. I got dressed and went out with my newly tuned chainsaw and systematically turned trouble into treasure. I plan to stay on this tact, so bring it on there is nothing in this world that I can't make work. I look forward to the warmth those Maple logs will bring me and my little family next winter.

And the Winner Is

So this is the chosen logo from the 6 concepts I presented last week to my Grounded Knowledge clients in Brooklyn. Am quite pleased with it and the next step is to apply color. My friend Susan who is a principle in the group and was my first best friend growing up in Smithers, sent me a very sweet note about how happy it made her that I was involved in the project. This goes double for me.

Sunday today and we have no plans beyond taking Pearl to the movies later on. I get a little itchy on these days without a fixed agenda. It's silly to have work this hard to relax but there it is. I am what I am.

Had a nice night out with my family last night on the occasion of my stepmothers 80th birthday. We have a Brady Bunch style family, 4 of hers, 4 of his. Needless to say we are a large group when we all get together. I was not sure how Molly would take to 80, but she was gracious and charming at the party. Her sons organized it all and it was really well done. The boys even sang her a song which was funny and touching. I cried twice, once because my dad got choked up while talking about my brother who is currently in rehab, an event that has been a long time coming, and once listening to Molly's best friend Birgit toast her. These are great women, sexy and vital even in their 70's and 80's but not without their frailties and personal tragedies. Family is an interesting web when you stand back and look at all the lives that intersect one another. We have separate and diverse situations but also share so many memories and experiences, some painful but mostly positive.

For many years I felt at odds with my family but as I get older and more comfortable in my own skin I appreciate and cherish them more. So I guess I am feeling pretty happy and connected to the human race today despite my lack of direction or list to follow. Sometimes just being in the moment with the people you love most is good enough goal.

The Luxury of Saturday

All I can say is it's Saturday. It's a sunny Saturday in the suburbs. The furnace is on because it's a tad cool in the mornings. No one is up yet except me and I love that. The day is a completely wide open clean slate. I have some plans, some notions of what I might like to do today, what I might like to see along the way but nothing is concrete and I am happy to let all my ideas go in favor of something better if it should arise. I can hear the clock in the kitchen ticking away, the dog grunts, there is a faint alarm beeping from a clock in the living room that we can't turn off completely. It's really faint, no louder than your own breathing but it's there. The fridge kicks on and in concert with the fan of the furnace it gives the house a nice humming sound, alive but not too lively. The ducts contract making sounds of metal sighing, soon I will get up and have some juice and make a coffee, and maybe read but beyond that I will just let the day unfold. Aaah, the luxury of Saturday.

Flux

Eddy asleep in the sun.

Mark started his course this weekend. It marks a new period for us. Gone are our carefree weekends for the next few months. It's okay because if I have learned anything it is that I am capable of adjusting to change. I looked after Eddy while Mark went to school and then DJ'd a wedding. The wedding was an additional complication but again, not insurmountable. We have also embarked on a new school schedule with Pearl which sees her in Everson during the week and with her dad most weekends. We are in a state of flux which can be disorienting. I could choose to be blue about the whole thing but I refuse to go there. Instead I invited my sister out for the weekend to keep me company while Mark was away. In the morning I cleaned our bedroom and took the dog for a good walk. I tended to Eddy and felt good about doing it. On Sunday Catriona and I walked for about two hours along the dyke at Mission, it was clear and warm and we had a good talk. Mark came home, beat from his weekend of schlepping equipment and doing equations. Catriona went home and we took the big red car out to do the shopping, I made dinner for the three of us while Mark slept. It felt different from the normal routine but not unpleasant. There is a stillness to this change as we all get used to the new order of things. I don't fear change anymore, I look forward to the new opportunities that arise from it.

The Flock Lessens

I have a lot to do in a day and sometimes I don't get to everything. Take Sunday for example. We had a lovely day of skiing and arrived home just before dark. We unloaded everyone and everything from the car and I went out to collect the dog from the nearby kennel where she spends ski days. When I got home it was dark and all I wanted to do was to get into the house and take a bath to soothe my aching body. I neglected going down and closing the hens into the coop and this is what I found when I went down yesterday to feed them. In case it's hard to make out, this is how a chicken looks with its breast and head eaten off it. Yes it's disturbing. I have 9 birds left at the moment, so instead of doing graphic design today I will be mending fences and fortifying the coop against intruders. The trouble comes when I am not here for days and there is no one to open and close the coop. I really need a renter but that is another topic for another day. To sweeten deal for today it's snowing out and yes I am whining.

Sunny Sunday

Mark and his mom, Barbara Calvert Seifred

So I imagined I would have tons of great sunny pictures from our trip into Vancouver. The sun was replaced by fog the closer we got to the Fraser. In fact, on the approach to the Port Mann Bridge we could not even see the behemoth orange bridge. The fog was thick and silky gray. We went to my dads for a bit and eventually went out to lunch but their collective mood was not great. He had an infected tooth and she was concerned about the dog (8 month old Cocker) needing longer walks and wondering how to go about that. My dad just turned 83, I brought him a bottle of organic wine and Leonard Cohen CD and suggested he drink all the wine and then put on the CD. I think I need to get together on my own with him and really have a serious chat.

We had a nice dinner with Mark's mom in her cozy pad. It's the first time we have had a meal there since she moved in. I felt relaxed and happy to be in her space.

Now it is time to switch gears altogether, pack up my shit and head back to my parallel life. All in all a very nice weekend.

Happy Saturday

We are off to Vancouver today to deliver the christmas presents that never got to my family due to the weather. The sun is shining and I couldn't be happier. More later...

Car Show Saturday

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Me

Last weekend we attended the Langley Car Show. Ever since Mark got the big red car he has been planning to go. We missed it last year. This year we were prepared. We got to Langley at about 7:30 am on Saturday morning for registration. The scene in the staging lot was impressive, we were met by makes and models of cars spanning almost 100 years, from the first electric car to vintage ambulances and pimped out hot rods. Some nut even brought an 80's 5th Avenue. It was like an equal opportunity event and with a $20 price tag, it was accessible to all and my god all were there. In the end there were about 1800 vehicles of all descriptions and years. The Langley town center streets were lined with cars, who's owners had poured their hearts, souls and funds into, and by god it was a sight to behold. There was an Elvis impersonator, perky girls touting pancakes, and pouty girls selling car shine. There was a Nascar that revved it's engine at measured intervals and like moths to a flame, the crowd flocked over at each punch of the accelerator. The excitement in the air was palpable, as was the smell of mini donuts.

So here are a few of the pics that Mark took. The cartype was the best. I fell in love with several large station wagons and some peculiar trailers. We walked around for about 3 hours in one go and just when I felt like I couldn't look at one more car, another one would catch my eye and I would once again be engrossed in the detail and design of these icons of our culture, our shiny streamlined culture.

Thanks Mark, I had the best day.

Bursting

My folks were here at the weekend. My dad and his wife came on Sunday for lunch. It's been a little while since they were down, a year I think. I was struck, as I often am by what amazing people they are. It's not their accomplishments or their possessions, it's their joi de vivre. They are on average about 80, one is older, one is younger. They look great, they are both healthy and they are both really interesting and dynamic people. My dad bounced on the trampoline with Pearl. She was amazed that at his advanced age he had never been on a trampoline. He jumped gingerly, Pearl was elated. My stepmother Molly, read a bit to Pearl and tried not to watch her spin frenetically on her tire swing which delighted Pearl. There's nothing like making someone you love vagualy nauseous. My dad talked about a book he read recently about the Shackleton expedition, he has sailed and climbed at various times in his life. We all got talking about long sailing trips and navigation at sea. I was born into a family of adventurers and now I am married to one too. Even Molly sailed to Hawaii with dad back in the 80's, they were 3 weeks at sea. Watching them at lunch I can see how much they cherish eachother after all these years together, it must be almost 40 by now. We spent the afternoon in the yard while the sun played hide and seek. My dad threw the ball for the dog and Mark showed off the big red car. These are the people I am trying to emulate in my life and I feel so lucky to have them in my own family.

We didn't take any pictures but here's an image for you. A red Prius pulls into the driveway and my wide smiling stepmother who is petite and blondish gets out, she is wearing red high heels. When I am 80ish, this is how I want to arrive.

Twilight

Summer is winding down and I am making friends with the idea of fall. I've given summer a solid effort and have reaped the rewards of a light work schedule and endless warm days. I can feel September nearing, my senses are sharpening with the crisping of the air. It's not completely cool yet but I can feel the odd patch of cooler air as I stand picking and eating ripe blackberries in the yard. While I am sad to see summer end I am also ready to get back to work. I have been drifting happily but now the directionless nature of my days is getting to me. I need a few deadlines to snap me out of my lazy state of mind.

They will come soon enough, school will start and we'll put our beach towels away for another year. It's been a really good summer.

Scrabble

I've been meaning to see if Eddy can still play scrabble. Despite his dementia and perceptive inconsistencies he has retained his large vocabulary and his ability to spell in English and French. He is good at crossword puzzles as long as he is only required to answer the questions and not have to read and fill in the tiny squares. His motor skills can be erratic or non existent. Sometimes he just forgets he meant to move. We got the board set up, Pearl determined who would go first and we set up the play order. Me first, then Pearl, then Eddy. Pearl designated me the score keeper. The game went like this; Pearl and I would take our turns then Eddy's turn would come, one of us would ask him if he had a word to play, he would look at the board and start to de-construct what was there, seige became neige, sail became mail. He could see some words in his tiles but could not link them to the board. Pearl and I took turns taking his turn for him, double checking with him the spelling of the word.

A game of scrabble can last a pretty long time. Mark mowed the whole lawn and did some trimming while we soldiered on. I started cooking dinner and Pearl wrote down a few scores. By the end Eddy was listing a bit, his blood sugar was low and he was really struggling to make sense of the game. His eyes looked watery. We had completely pooped him out. I can't remember who won, we all ended up with a few extra tiles, rogue consonants defying placement.

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Oh the humiliation

We celebrated the 4th on the 5th this year. I was totally organized and had picked up some fireworks from the local Lions who sell them in the Everson Market parking lot from a plywood hut. I bought them there last year too and was trying to avoid the same fate. We foolishly bought a "Family Friendly" pack and were really disappointed. Too few explosions, no reports, too many sparklers, too much smoke, not enough bang. This year when I went to buy the arsenal I looked at everything pretty closely and settled on the "Big Value Bag" ($21.98), this maybe where I went wrong. The words Value and Fireworks should not be used in the same sentence. There is no value inherent in Fireworks, you might as well be burning money. That being said we want some bang for our buck, no such luck.

Mark lit the first firework. It was an impressive package, thick column, felt heavy, lots of black powder I thought. As it started to ignite we waited expectantly and watched patiently as the thing spit up showers of sparks. No explosions, no whistles. We felt let down. We moved on and piece after piece shot sparks and little else.

Apparently I did not get the militia pak as I had wanted and instead got the super lame, extremely safe for amputees, shower pak. One of the pieces was actually named "Golden Showers". I believe I experienced the shame and humiliation one might feel during a real golden shower. Ultimately what saved me were the sparklers and Bees. Mark made a good show of them for Pearl and we all agreed that next year we would send Mark to the Res with at least $50 to get the loot. I tried, hopefully the gang will forgive me.

Decade

Mark, Pearl and the Whales enjoy a dip in Centennial Pool

It is a tad rainy today but for 6 days previous to today it has been absolutely, top-shelf summer fun. I do hate to go on about the good time I am having, but what else do I have to talk about? I am all out of misery. Can't muster a grumble, a snear, not even a little pout.

It started last Saturday with a little sail in Mark's boat up at Jericho Beach in Vancouver. The wind was consistent and we happily tacked back and forth in the bay. At one point we were out pacing a wind-surfer which pleased Mark tremendously. After retrieving Luna from the dog day care we ended up at Moderne Burger for some restorative protein. This place makes a great burger platter and has been closed due to renovations for the past 18 months. We had a serious jones.

Tuesday found us celebrating Canada Day with a parade that came conveniently close to the townhouse. We were at the end of the parade route and all the floats got backed up in front of us. It was cool at first seeing the displays up close but it soon became awkward, we had to keep waving to the the now stationary patriots.

It was really nice and hot. Pearl ran wild in the complex play area and mid afternoon we hit the local outdoor pool. I think Canada may be a more civilized country because of the easy access to parks and facilities. The Centennial Pool was recently widened and spiffed up. We all took turns on the rope swing. That was a personal reminder that I am a sad, weak-armed softy. I can't really make out the form my body took as it skidded along the surface of the pool before crashing in, hippo comes to mind. I am trying not to think about it. Pearl was graceful going in. Mark made us all laugh by employing some small plastic whales as flotation devices clenched in his freakishly long toes.

Finished the catalog and am now embarking on a web project and new Coupon Book cover. Samuels sign is in the process of going up. I am continuing to feel light and open, ideas around every corner.

Pearl turns the BIG 1-0 shortly. Big pause here as I try to organize my thoughts to say something really profound (feel free to get up and refresh your drink) but ultimately it changes everyday and I am just getting better at how I react to the ebb and flow. She's a really nice human being and I am trying to do her justice.

Solstice

Just coming down from an intense jag of work which was happily punctuated Saturday night with a nice solstice party here at Rancho Relaxo. As mayor of Rowanville I am always striving to offer my guests a totally pleasurable visit to the country (seriously). Luckily the weather was fine and we all sat outside around the bonds of fire. Mark launched a few bottle rockets, freaking out Eddy and the dog, but delighting everyone else.

It feels like we have successfully coaxed summer into gracing us once again. Maybe it does work–to invite your friends over–to call summer on all together, let it be known that it is missed, like a cherished friend. It felt good to do what our ancestors did and to really feel the desire for the sun. And the sun arrived like a neat package, up at 4 and no questions asked the next morning. I feel like an ad for the power of prayer.

It's no wonder I feel so darn happy.


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A Life on the Water

We are trying to include Eddy more in our outings. We took him up to Baker several times this winter and even although he never left the comfort of the lodge and his wheelchair he was excited about his experiences. Imagining he had been skiing.

On Monday we went for a drive out to WWU's Lakewood Facility at Lake Whatcom, where for $35 (I would have happily paid $350) we got a family membership. I checked to see if they had handicapped access which they did and immediately my head was filled with visions of sunny afternoons spent at the lake shore with the 4 of us. Eddy could sit happily for hours and watch the comings and goings of people in boats.

Yesterday morning when Mark woke Eddy up he could see he had something on his mind and asked him about it. Eddy said he was considering his future in the Navy. Mark reminded him they probably weren't taking any 80 yr old conscripts. I think the lake will be good for his soul.

Eddies Supper Club

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Originally uploaded by kissinjerk

Here is some of the gang outside Eddies Supper Club, missing are Jack T. the instigator, Karen from Bozeman, and of course Michael Kissinger of Vancouver who snapped the lot of us.

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