Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Biting down

My tongue hurts from running it along the sharp edge of a broken molar, I can't help it. I am hoping to smooth it out to avoid the costly and painful trip to the dentist where they will grind off the tooth and replace it with a new metal base and perfect porcelain top. I woke today with a The The song in my head, "This is the Day" and it made me wonder, is this the day when things fall into place. Years ago when Pearl was little she said to Mark "you can change your mind"—"you can change your life" and he did, he fell in love with us. Pearl is an amazing child and parenting her is one of my greatest achievements, not that I am close to being finished with the task, one never is. Even my mother who is long dead informs the choices I make daily. In recent months I have put my foot down to protect Pearl and I will likely do it again. It is unpopular and I will be accused of myriad transgressions against the father but the thing is, you can change. We are here in this raft floating along and we can either fight amongst ourselves or we can focus on the beautiful foliage and wildlife that exists on the banks of this waterway that is our lives. This has nothing to do with teeth and I know that I can't possibly fix what is broken in my mouth with my soft fleshy tongue but I can entertain all the possibilities and weigh them equally and then proceed, and I can stop my tongue from seeking that rough edge. This IS the day, and this day is everyday and you can take a step forward and you can feel good, it's your choice to face up or face off, to drop in or to drop out. Open your mouth and smile and lift your paddle high don't just aimlessly drift unless drifting is what you desire.

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